there's so much to do before i leaaavee! and i just learned today that we're going to some nice beach place two weeks before i leave, so now i have only two weeks to do everything! finish summer reading! finish health course work! pack like crazy! lab work! driving! paperwork! oboe? community service? and everything else!  

but i'm so excited! it's gorgeous there










<3 Stanford!

all summer long, the same disturbing theme has been repeating itself in my dreams. i wonder if you've ever had dreams where you're trying not to loose tiny, jelly-bean-sized babies and you end up losing them all or accidently killing them all. it's so disappointing! you wake up and you're like, crap! i just woke up from a nap after having another small-baby-losing dream. i hate those dreams!!!

What causes or why do some dreams keep repeating themselves?

Dreams that recur (or repeat themselves) is a clear indication that some issue is not being confronted or that it has not yet been resolved.  Your anxieties about a certain situation that you are struggling with may also cause you to have recurring dreams. 

Baby

To see a baby in your dream, signifies innocence, warmth and new beginnings.  Babies may symbolize something in your own inner nature which is pure, vulnerable, and/or uncorrupted. Babies may represent an aspect of yourself that is vulnerable and helpless.  If you dream that you forgot you had a baby, then it suggests that you are trying hide your own vulnerabilities; You do not want to let others know of your weaknesses.

If you dream that you are on your way to the hospital to have a baby, then it signifies your issues of dependency and your desire to be completely care for. Perhaps you are trying to get out of some responsibility. If you are pregnant, then a more direct interpretation may simply mean that you are experiencing some anxieties of making it to the hospital when the time comes. 

To dream of a crying baby, is indicative of a part of yourself that is deprived of attention and needs some nurturing. Alternatively, it represents your unfulfilled goals and a sense of lacking in your life.

To dream about a starving baby, represents your dependence on others. You are experiencing some deficiency in your life that needs immediate attention and gratification.

To dream of an extremely small baby, symbolizes your helplessness and your fears of letting others become aware of your vulnerabilities and incompetence. You may be afraid to ask for help and as a result tend to take matters into your own hands. 

eh? what about like 7 really small babies you're supposed to keep track of?? like in this last dream, i kept them all in my pocket and they were so cute (i don't even know if they were human babies), but then i jumped off a pretty waterfall and they all fell out. and then i tried to search for them at the bottom of the waterfall for like hours and there were snakes everywhere, but i couldnt find them. i think the snakes ate them, but the snakes were nice and pretty, but i feel like they were lying to me.

To see a dead baby in your dream, symbolizes the ending of something that is part of you.

To dream that you are dipping a baby in and out of water, signifies regression. You are regressing to a time where you had no worries and responsibilities.  Alternatively, it is reminisce of when the baby is in the fetus and in its comfort zone. In fact, some expectant mothers even give birth in a pool, because the environment in the water mimics the environment in the uterus. It is less traumatic for the baby as it emerges into the world. So perhaps, the dream your search for your own comfort zone.

Summer reading pages read: finished the awakening, starting another
Laps jogged: omg! i can actually fill this out! today i did 4 around this track thing
Laps walked: like 1
Calories eaten: um....~1700 a day
Hours wishing you were madly, passionately, and tragically in love with someone: 20
Hours of oboe practice: none....-ill practice tomorrow!!!
Hours of Japanese practice: 5 
Hours of health course work: 2
Doodles drawn: 2
Actual good drawings: 1
Hours playing vide games: like 4, sadly enough
Hours watching grey's anatomy: 25
Hours cleaning room: 3
Hours attempting to clean the closet: 2 hours a day, and it all comes to nada
Hours slept: ~60
Hours inside: 75% of the time
Hours outside: 25% of the time
Hours worried about college: 50
Hours worried about what I'm going to do for the rest of my life: 80
Times wishing you were depressed and dark since being happy and balanced is boring: 30
Times you were inspired: 100 (half of these times were incurred by grey's anatomy)
Times you laughed to yourself gleefully over something: 5
Times you were shamefully narcissistic: 7
Hours not been able to sleep because of stress and guilt: none
Hours not been able to sleep because of excitement/mental illnesses: 3.5 a night
Hours considering the need to read, work out, eat more, volunteer, get motivated: 50% of my living existence

Hours enjoying the summer: all